Crypt Design

Of course, we do actually design crypts as well. Once our primary function and service, now just one of our range of popular services.

We consistently win medals for our amazing, often controversial, and always radical Crypt Designs.

83% of the worlds most important people, throughout ALL of human history have been buried, entombed, placed or incarcerated in one of our fine Crypts.

And as a full service company, we are pleased to offer a range of designs to fit all needs and all budgets.

Those interested in our service should feel free to contact us, or, for those of you with time or patience, we shall be posting examples of designs and further details in the near future.

One of our simplest Crypts. We drill a hole in the top, marked by the "X", give you a stick with which to ram the remains in, and then we reseal the hole for you. Ideal for use in small gardens and road side shrines.

Most of our simplest, but still made to our exacting and strict standards (we’ve had staff unanimated and subject to our Rapid Filling Policy for not meeting our standards three times. Our standards are so high, that when we started, we had to unanimate 97% of our staff. As the years have gone by, we have been able to progressively build an almost stable base, and now have only unanimated 16% of our staff each year for the last 3 years. We have found that it makes sense to hire children young, so as to ensure that when we find the right staff, we can employ them for a sensible portion of their lives – usually 82 years – and ensure that we have enough time to find a new staff member to replace them. We are hoping to be able to be operating at an unanimation rate of <2% within the next ten years), Crypts are simple ‘boxes’ that can be placed in the ground, dumped at sea (we advise the use of a Crypt from our “Sea Dumping” range in these cases), placed in the home or used in any number of ways. We offer a range of additional services for even the most thrifty or financially challenged individuals, so there’s never any reason not to contact us, and find out what we can do for you, and what you can do for us.* Since the dawn of time, we have been pushing and pushing the people that matter into the Crypts that matter the most. Isn’t it time that you found yourself in a Crypt you thought would only be suitable for a Hollywood Celebrity, or a number of their pets? You can make the changes you need NOW.

Make sure you familiarise yourself with our additional Crypt Related Services.

*All legal responsibility is always the clients.